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Title: Excerpt from a story I'll probably never finish, because it would be epic, but I thought we could all use some fruitfic
Rating: PG, I guess?
Warnings: can there be OOC-ness or crack when the entire fandom is OOC crack?
Thanks to daydreamer for the spellcheck. I wrote this at work, and sent it to her, whereupon she checked it at work and sent it back. We were kind of bored. Feel free to write the missing scene or any other scenes in the storyline, just link back here, if you would.


The Fruit Guys relaxed, moving away from their poses. Apple stretched his legs, while Green Grape scratched the back of his neck. Fig Leaf stretched out on the floor, sighing.

"That was good," Jeff said. "I think that's a wrap."

"Thank god," Apple said, as Jeff packed up his filming equipment. "I hate those commercials." He turned to Green Grape and pulled him aside slightly. "You coming or what?"

"Yeah, let me get my wallet," Green Grape replied, heading out of the room.

Purple Grape stopped him at the door. "Hey, where are you going?" he asked.

"Apple is taking me to that new bar."

"But we had wine-tasting plans!" Purple Grape protested.

"Look, we all know that's going to end with you refusing to drink the Riesling I recommend, even though I tried every version of your crappy Merlot. Apple is exciting! He's got sparkling cider! Much more compatible with champagne, which I prefer over regular wine. Now, if you'll excuse me?" Green Grape pushed past without waiting for a reply.

Fig Leaf put his hand on Purple Grape's arm. "I'll drink Merlot with you, Purple Grape," he said, gently leading him out of the room. "And I've got Fig Newtons!"

{missing scene where Fig Leaf gets Purple Grape pretty damn drunk, and maybe also sugar-high}

Just when things had gotten slightly awkward, and it seemed like maybe Fig Leaf was going to make a move or something, Green Grape came home, crying loudly, and Purple Grape rushed off.

"What's wrong?"

"You wouldn't understand! You'll just think I'm stupid," Green Grape said, covering his face with his hands.

"Where's Apple?"

"He left with some tart, a golden delicious with caramel sauce," Green Grape said. "He's speciest, just like everyone else!"

"Come on," Purple Grape said, wrapping an arm around him, "let's get you some water. You can sleep it off."

After Green Grape had drunk two glasses, which Purple Grape hoped was enough, he lay down on the bed on top of the covers. Purple Grape stared at him awkwardly for a minute before turning to leave.

"Purple Grape?" Green Grape called.


"Will you stay with me?"

"Of course," Purple Grape said, climbing onto the bed and letting Green Grape cuddle up with him. It felt right, having their bunches nestle together, mingling green and purple. It was comfortable.

Maybe he should get some white Zinfandel for tomorrow.

{end. or IS IT?}

(We've been discussing it for long enough, I thought it was time to write something.)
It felt right, having their bunches nestle together, mingling green and purple.

OMG YES EXACTLY!!! You have just captured in that one simple sentence everything that attracted me to the Fruit Fandom. Purple/Green isn't even my OTP, but you totally sold me on them. Here's hoping you do get around to finishing this some day. :D
I'm giggling over here... that's the line I thought of first, and then I thought... how to get them there? Thus the angst.

What's your OTP, out of curiosity?
What's your OTP, out of curiosity?

Well, Apple/Green Grapes, of course! And I've got nothing against Purple Grapes/Fig Leaf, although that relationship seems like more a matter of friendship and convenience when it goes NC-17; it just doesn't have the innate fire and passion that Apple/Green have, nor as much subtextual support within the canon.

Purple Grapes/Green Grapes has that whole incest thing going on, which, well is kinda a hot kink, but I just don't usually buy it for those two.
I agree about Purple Grape/Fig Leaf. Fig Leaf might want it to work out, but it's just not happening, in my opinion. What is he thinking?
What is he thinking?

Well, the same thing most of us are, I assume: Purple Grape is just so fuckin' SEXY. All those luscious purple curves, so lickable! So tart! I mean, seriously, do you know anyone who isn't hot for Purple Grapes? While Green Grapes/Apple is the hottest couple, Purple Grapes is clearly the hottest single hot-ass of the group.

So I can understand Fig Leaf's infatuation. But I think, honestly, that he knows deep-down inside that they're better as friends. The sex spark isn't there, but their friendship is genuine. I just hope Fig Leaf is able to acknowledge and accept that before he risks ruining the frienship in the pursuit of something more that would just never work.
I don't, actually, know anyone who isn't hot for Purple Grape. And I'm going to maintain that, since he's the hottest, any couple with him in it is by default the hottest.

Well, anyone but Fig Leaf. Maybe Fig Leaf needs an OC for love.
It felt right, having their bunches nestle together

I am so, so proud of that line, and not ashamed to admit it. ;)